The Legacy

This past Monday my Grandmom went home. Heaven. Her suffering on this earth is now over and she's in glory with her Savior. As we celebrated her life over the last couple of days I learned a couple of things about her that I wish I would have known when she was alive.

Fact #1: She never wanted to be a farmers wife. She was a "city girl" who fell in love with a farmer. One of their wedding gifts was 125 chickens, no wonder she wasn't smiling in any of her wedding pictures! She candled eggs (google it, I had no idea what it was either), made all of her children's clothes, kept the books for their business, and raised seven wonderful children.

Fact #2: She was always in heels. I didn't see a picture of her when she wasn't fully "ready" for her day. There was even a picture of her when we all surprised her on Christmas morning, and out she came, skirt, heels, hair done. I learned later from one of my aunts, that she did this for my grandfather. He delivered milk, and always thought that if the woman met him at the door in their "house coat," they were lazy. Grandmom submitted to his expectation of a wife and mother and honored his wishes. What a great example to follow.

Fact #3: My grandparents loved each other, DEEPLY. Grandmom really hadn't been the same since Grandpop died almost 10 years ago. After 58 years of marriage, their love was stronger than ever. One Christmas Grandpop forgot to get Grandmom a Christmas card (we don't even get Christmas cards for each other), so he wrote her a note to apologize. At the age of 73 he says, "To the best wife a man could ever have" and "this has been the best year of our lives so far, and know that the next will be even better." He cherished her, adored her, LOVED her. I think that speaks volumes about, not only their marriage, but about the woman she was.

It was a bittersweet day. Tears, laughs, time with family. The legacy my grandparents left is long and deep. 7 children, 20 grandchildren, 30 great-grandchildren, and 5 more on the way. I am proud to be an Entwistle. I am proud of my family and the beauty that each of them brings to my life. I love the diversity, the quirks, the similarities. Most of all I love that in each of us, we are carrying the legacy on.

Garrett, Uncle Jeff (second son), and Rob (one of my 16 cousins).

Aunt Cathy bouncing Gideon.

Avery, Ange, Gideon and Nate.

My cousin Jenn's oldest daughter, Kayleigh, turned 13. Of course we had to embarrass her by singing to her. From left to right, Aunt Joyce, Aunt Sharon, Kayleigh, Marsh, and Jenn.

Shaylan, Olivia and Esther playing together.

Nate and Garrett

My dad John, the youngest sibling, with the oldest sibling, Aunt Ginny.

Olivia and Katie playing together.

From bottom left to right: Joe, Aunt Sharon, Aunt Ginny, Aunt Peggy, Aunt Joyce (all 4 daughters), Aunt Wendy and Uncle Jim (the oldest son).

Aunt Judy and Ange

Aunt Wendy, Uncle Jim, Uncle Roy (my grandfather's brother) and Andrew.

My dad, Rob, Marsh and Aunt Sharon.

Ange, Avery and Bekah (another cousin).

Nate, Garrett and Esther get ready for a game.

It was a long day so Garrett sunggled up with Grammy at the end of the night. If you know Garrett, you know you've never seen him that still in the midst of all those people. He must have been really tired!

Stop #1 - Leeds house

We are finally settling in. Finally, that makes this move seem like it is over, but it's not. If I start to think about what the next month looks like, I start to get a little uneasy. If I start to think about the fact that Josh doesn't have a job yet, I start to get a little worried. If I think, "What were we thinking, leaving, moving, being unemployed," a slight panic attack rises up in me. I am choosing to think about the positive. To embrace the love being wrapped around us by everyone. To rest in the promise that God knows what we need and will provide those needs. To count my blessings, which outnumber the stars!

We are settling in at our first stop with the Leeds family. Doug was my youth pastor and his wife, Karen a great friend. Doug married Josh and I almost 8 years ago, and their oldest daughter Taylor, was the flower girl in our wedding. This time starts a new chapter in our journey together. They have 5 children of their own, so as you can imagine, the party hasn't stopped!

Garrett and Jordan (7). These two have really bonded. Jordan tends to be the most "tom-boyish" of all the girls. We've found these two wrestling pretty hard.

Watching High School Musical 3.

The rest of the girls watching HM3. From left to right: Emily (9), Taylor (10), Laura (4), Esther and Olivia.

The Leeds 5th, and final child Ian, is at the end of the bed watching Garrett climb. So if you're keeping track, that's 9 kids ages 10 to 1!

I got lost

I totally got lost.

Big time.

I feel really foolish...embarrassed...and forever changed after my latest wondering.

Wondering, in the dark. It was really dark, no light, no signs of life. Lots of scary noises and missteps that caused me many bumps and bruises.

I kept telling myself, "Your going the right way...don't question it...you'll see light again...it's just around the corner...keep going."

So I pushed through, asked for help from the empty sky. Screamed out for help, answered with silence.

Then I stopped.

Sat down.

Closed my eyes.

Remembered where I came from...and heard a voice.

"You got lost, but I always knew where you were. I saw you walking down the road; guilty, worrying, CONTROLLING, doubting, justifying, HaTiNg, gossiping, holding grudges, being engulfed in your own PRIDE. Oh, how I loved you even in that place. I always want you to be safe with me and I waited until you were ready to hear me."

silence.

quiet.

confession.

peace.

freedom.

Yes, it's pictureless

I've been a little bit of a wreck lately.

I've been unable to put my thoughts into words, this is weird for me.

This "limbo stage" we are in, may do me in.

Early last week I bottled it in, tried to ignore the empty feeling, the lack of confidence and peace. I finally shared with Josh how I was feeling, talked it out (or so I thought), and was feeling better. Then of Friday I had a good cry about it all. About not "feeling" God's direction. "Feeling" forgotten by God. "Feeling" lost. Many of my friends and family contacted me this day about how we were doing. It's what I needed and once again, God let me know that He gives us everything we NEED when we NEED it. That He is with me, even when I feel like I'm in the dark, miles from his safety. He is faithful.

I don't think I'm totally out of this funk.

But I'm holding on to the promises.

"My flesh and me heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge,

I will tell of all your deeds."

Psalm 73:26&28

"Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40: 28-31

Puddin' Pie and Quote

What do you think a 1 year old does with pudding? Eat it? Slurp it? Nope! They wear it. Gideon still only uses eating utensils 40% of the time, so the other 60% he uses his hands. When he can grab the food, it's not a problem, however, pudding is not grabable (is that a real word?). Because pudding poses this problem Gideon decided to paint with it, fling it across the room with the spoon, and give himself war paint.

What does a 4 (almost 5 year old) do with pudding? Eat it with a spoon? Drink it? Nope. He tries to lick it out of the cup, with very little success. I was trying to get him to use the spoon, but he liked making a mess. WHATEVER!

Quote of the day (it has nothing to do with pudding, but I don't want to forget it):

Me, jokingly: "Garrett, I'm going to bite your thumb off if you don't stop sucking it!"
Garrett, laughing: "But mom, this is my favorite thumb to suck on!"

Sledding - a tough sport

I don't remember this part of sledding. The bumps and bruises. Josh and our friend Chad took the kids sledding today after church. The kids had been begging Josh for a while and today was the day to deliver. I didn't expect Garrett to come home battered and bruised. He walked in from playing and after I saw his REALLY red face, I noticed the bruise and cut on his forehead. He's giving me a glimpse of the future too, he hasn't stopped eating since he came in. So far he's had a cheese sandwich, fruit snacks, Bugles, two bowls and cereal and I think he's going to finish off an apple too. I'm guessing that when he's a teenager, he'll eat twice as much as that on a normal day. He's totally worth it!

The running of the Crisp kids

This is what happens when you give kids ice cream 15 minutes before bedtime. They had been running like this for a good 5 minutes before I even started taping. Take a little cabin fever add ice cream and this is what you get!

Look How Far We've Come

I am amazed when I look back over the last 7 almost 8 years of our marriage. Amazed at our beginning and our plans. Amazed at how lovely our life is now, because of God's plan. We haven't always made the best choices. We have made a lot of mistakes. We have had a lot of fun and made a lot of memories. As we step into the unknown we know we are together. We know we have love. We know we will thrive. We are excited about the memories to come.

Thank you God for all you have given to us. For the love you lavish upon us. For the grace you freely give to us. We accept your love the grace on our journey, trusting in you alone for our needs. May this family be an example of your love and grace.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

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How do you cope?

The past couple of weeks have been crazy, exciting, stressful, peaceful, draining, and exhilarating. As you can see, there is no one word that describes how we are doing. Our future is uncertain, and we are at peace with that. We have committed this decision to God, and know that he's going ahead of us. He will meet all of our NEEDS. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that we don't have to prepare, make some plans, and be responsible for our family. Along with these things comes many days of thinking, coping, praying, asking, listening, waiting, longing. Do you see how my brain could be a little jumbled? I have learned a couple new things in the last couple of weeks.

Number 1, God has brought me farther in my journey then I thought I had come (this is a good thing!).

Number 2, my kids are amazing at coping. They have yet to respond to our move the way you would expect.

Number 3, I can cope, because I can organize. And I LOVE it! I do my best thinking while I'm throwing stuff out, making donation piles, and packing boxes. I have clarity. I have peace. I gain confidence. AND I get things ready, clean, organized - BONUS! I've cleaned out and packed every closet in the house. I've cleaned out the basement and all the kids rooms. Every kitchen and bathroom cabinet and drawer is cleaned and ready to sweep into a box. It feels good to be ready. Something has to be ready, when plans are so uncertain. I've been steam cleaning the carpets, my favorite chore. Today I rearranged the living room after cleaning out under the couch (DISGUSTING!). Who doesn't like rearranging furniture? My sister and I would do this on a regular basis growing up. It hasn't stopped since getting married. Josh either comes home to a new arrangement of furniture, or he's the one moving it (b/c I'm always prego!). He doesn't understand the need for change, but loves me enough to let me be me. Thanks babe!

So, I don't say this all to toot my own horn, but merely to give an example of a coping tendency. I'm wondering, how do you cope? When do you do your best thinking? When are you most focused? Do you. . .

get violent?

eat?

clean?

sleep?

exercise?

Or do you cope some other way? Let us know!

Sibling Happiness Day

Today must be the day for all siblings to get along. My sis-in-law blogged earlier that her boys were playing and including one another without fighting. My children are also having a wonderful day of play and interaction. Olivia and Garrett were playing together on the kid computer while Esther and Gideon played on the basement stairs. (I know you think I'm crazy for letting them play on the stairs, but really they were just going up and down.) Although these times seems so few and far between, they are worth the wait. They are worth the constant peacemaking and conversations of including and treating each other the way they'd want to be treated. It confirms to me that being a teachable, yet teaching parent is going to pay off!

Gid and Es on the stairs.

Olivia and Garrett on the computer. And I forgot to mention that she had her arm around him the whole time. Can you feel the love?

My Man with Many Faces

This is my favorite age. I'm thankful for this age. It makes the terrible two's, three's and four's so worth it. I don't care what 12-18 month old you know, they are great. They are sponges. They are curious. They aren't testing their boundaries yet. They're good eaters, sleepers (well, all mine were), shoppers, and riders. I love this age! Gideon is almost 14 months old and sometimes I wish I could freeze him at this age. Here's some of his awesomeness (I don't care if that's not a word!).

Favorite toy, kitchen broom. Right now I trip on the thing at least 10 times a day. Hey, at least my floors are clean. :)

Face #1 - Fake cry. "I really want some attention and I want everyone to think I'm not happy! But don't tell them, I really am!"

"I love my mom, but I'm tired of pictures."

"Is that the crazy kid next to me? HELP!"

Face #2 (my favorite) - This face says, "I've just been told no, and I'm sad about it." He doesn't get angry, he doesn't throw a fit, he doesn't even try to do the action again. I really believe that he's sorry. My little contrite boy.

Face #3 - "Wait, every one's laughing, I need to join in! Here's my best fake laugh!"

"Seriously, another picture. . .squished between two people?!?! Will this never end??"

Do you see who I see?

Can you put the right eyes on the right Crisp??

A.

B.
C.
D.
E.
F.

Esther's art

Esther is quite the little photographer. She loves taking pictures with our camera, so when her birthday rolled around and she got some money to spend I took her right to the kids friendly digital cameras at Target. I showed her the purple Dora camera first and it was love at first sight. I took her over to the other cameras and showed her the Orange V-Tech and the Blue Fisher Price. To which she crinkled her nose and said, "That boys cama!" Dora it is!

"Self portrait"

Olivia and Garrett planned a concert for us one night and Es had fun photographing the action. The quality is that great, but she has so much fun with it.

Garrett shakin' it.

"Mommy, say cheese!"

"Daddy's Little Girl"

Gideon sings

Whenever the kids (or Josh) get World Tour out Gideon goes straight for the mic. Of course he puts as much of it in his mouth when he sings which makes it all the more hilarious. You kinda have to wait for it in the video, he must be camera shy. Enjoy!

What to do...

I've been thinking about our sense of entitlement. This isn't just about fairness. This is about my rights. I have the right to think what I want. I have the right to act a certain way, because it's who I am. I have a right to spend my money the way I want. I have a right to be happy in my job. I have a right to have respect from other human beings, and when I do not get that respect I have a right to let it be known. To kick and scream about my rights. To talk badly about those people.

We take this a step further when we give our children rights they haven't even asked for. My child has a right to be involved in every activity. My teenager has a right to go out and not spend time with the family, just because they can. To not be involved in the family unit, because that wouldn't be fair to make them plug in.

Our country has done nothing but feed into our sense of entitlement. We have a right to go into other people's countries and tell them how to run it. We have a right to bail out, to go further into debt, just so we can have more. So we can be America, the powerhouse. We have the right to defend ourselves. To protect. To preserve. Land of the free. . .

However, I find that Jesus' teachings are opposite all of that. What does he tell the rich young ruler, who had obeyed all of the "commands since he was a boy"? That he lacked one thing. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, and follow me." The young man left defeated. The text says that he had great wealth, most of which I'm sure he worked hard for and was entitled to. It was his right to have his wealth and to keep it. To give his 10% to the church and keep the rest.

In another passage, Jesus makes a point to his disciples after watching the widow give her offering to the church. She gave what she couldn't afford, all she had. She didn't claim her right to eat, to have wood for a fire, for a place to lay her head. She gave all she had.

There are many more examples of people not claiming their rights, like Mary Magdalene anointing Jesus with perfume that was worth a years wages. How many of us would give our years wages to honor our King?

We have fallen way short of the mark that Jesus left for us. If not for His grace we would be dead. I think if I were in the crowd that day Jesus was arrested, I would have screamed for him to defend himself, to fight back. To claim his place as the Son of God. I would want that for Him. That was his right. If he had done those things, I would be dead. Because he claimed no rights, I am free. What am I doing with that freedom. Have I gone so far in claiming my rights, that I've missed the opportunity to show the same love Jesus showed for me that day? I think I have. . .now what am I going to do about it?

Christmas in Indiana

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