peace

Have you ever been at complete peace with something, that rationally, you shouldn't be at peace with. That's how I've been this past week. It amazing how "peace that passes understanding" comes over you when you actually die to self and live out what you've said you believe. When you stop caring about what other's might think about a path that God had marked out for you a long time ago, and you actually follow it. Knowing that the result of following that path might create more uncertainty into the future. Knowing it's going to be fine to not know the future, because really, how many of us do? Knowing that your wealth comes not from what this world can give to you, but what blessings God wants to give to you. I think we miss out on God's blessings so often because we are too worried about the repercussions of what he's asking us to do. We miss out on opportunities to bless and be blessed, when we're so busy judging and worrying about being judged. We miss out on blessings when we're so busy looking at our neighbores "green grass." We think to ourselves, "WOW! ______'s got the life. If I could be where they are, than I would be happy. If I could follow God that way, than I would feel a sense of purpose."

This journey is my own. My journey is a blessing. Not because of what I can get from it, but because of what I can contribute to the big picture. My blessings come from giving, serving, dying to self. Living out what I believe. My peace comes from knowing that I have obeyed. My peace comes from knowing that the choices that I made yesterday WILL fit into the big picture a year from now. I may not see how, but peace will lead me on.

I'm pregnant.