Lessons through Vanity

You know the feeling you get when God hears your prayers and answers them the way YOU thought HE should.


Yeah, me either.


Because when it comes to the real issues of life, God's plans usually don't match up with ours. And thank goodness they don't, because in the end, God's plans are always better, safer, and a more pleasant surprise than we could have even imagined. I know I've shared this thought a million times, but I was reminded again this morning when I was talking to Nora.


My thought process was a little jumbled, so hopefully you'll be able to follow me as I go down this road.


At six weeks of age, Nora is starting to smile at people. There is such joy when your baby looks at you and you see recognition in her eyes. Even when they can't quite get their mouth to curl up on the ends, you see the smile in their eyes. It's just about the most glorious thing your eyes can see. As she smiled and sparkled at me, I looked at her dark blue eyes I was thankful. Not because she is here with us (although I am thankful for that). But BECAUSE she had blue eyes.

Here's the background. When Olivia was born, I was expecting, whole heartily, that our child would have dark hair and dark brown eyes. Much to my surprise, she was born with very little hair and piercing blue eyes. To this day, I'm still shocked that my husbands genes were stronger than mine, but I'm over it.

With every child after that, I wished (not prayed) that they would have dark brown eyes and dark hair. Hoping that one of our children would look like me. After Esther made her grand appearance, with her dark eyes and button nose, I was content (even if she was bald, just like her two older siblings). My contentment came, not from the fact that I got a dark eyed baby, but from the realization that no matter what they look like, they are God's gift to me. Perfectly and wonderfully formed the way HE sees fit. And no matter who they resemble or look like, my love will never waiver.

I am working my way back to the beginning, please stay with me!!

Gideon's features are so strikingly gorgeous. I know I'm bias, but really, have you even seen a more contrasting look as him? With his bright blond hair and eyes as big as the sun and as dark as the night? Again, not something I would have created myself, but oh so glad that God did.

Fast forward to my pregnancy with Nora.

With every child you have, you wonder, "What will this one look like? Will they resemble a sibling? parent?" And since my pregnancy with Esther, I hadn't hoped for anything. Only for a healthy baby. But this time it was different. Selfishly, I hoped that Nora WOULD have hair (ok, so I wasn't that over it!), lots of it. And DARK. And knowing that this would be our last child, I hoped that this baby would join Olivia (and Josh) in the blue eyed club. Not only would she join them in the club, but I wanted her to be the complete opposite of Gid.

I know this all sounds very vain. However, I think that most moms, and parents for that matter, can relate to dreaming up what your children will look like. So please don't judge me too harshly.

So, as I looked at my, opposite of her brother, blue eyed club member, God spoke to my heart and said, (not audibly, but you know what I mean) "See, I know your heart. Look at MY little girl, created by ME, for MY pleasure, that you get to enjoy, the way you pictured her. Because I see your heart. I know your wants. And once in a while, even in the small things in life, you can have what you want. Above and beyond what you need, I want to bless you. So be encouraged, today MY child, I see you, I hear your requests, even when you don't say them. The big, the small, the silly, the serious - I am God."

Whooaaaa! All that from looking into my daughters blue eyes. I NEVER saw that promise reminder coming through my hope of my blue eyed baby. But man, am I thankful that God works in ways I can never understand or imagine. And that I serve a God who daily gives grace and mercy, so that I can LIVE and learn.

And pass on the love.