Almost 9 years ago, I stood on a stage with my future husband and sang along with my sister as she sang this song.
It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and your fame
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God
And I surrender to your ways
Jesus, lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus, I want you to know
I will follow you all my days
For no one else in history is like you
And history itself belongs to you
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
And I will share eternity with You
And all this is for You
For Your glory and your fame
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God
And I surrender to your ways
Jesus, lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus, I want you to know
I will follow you all my days
For no one else in history is like you
And history itself belongs to you
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
And I will share eternity with You
At the time, I was singing to God, in the moment. That our marriage, the ceremony, was about Him. To an extent, I guess I was thinking about our future - but mostly I was in the moment.
I was sincere in my worship that day, but looking back, I had no idea what our future would look like. And if I had known, been given even a glimpse of our path, I'm not sure I would have sang with such conviction and certainty.
Two weeks ago in church, we sang that same song. And as I thought back to that stormy night 9 years ago, I smiled at my innocence. That night, it was just the two of us. The words of that song took on a whole new meaning Sunday morning, as we stood with our 5 children singing.
It was like an "Ah-ha" moment.
"Ohhhh. God, this is what you meant? All THIS, THEM, ME, US? Back THEN, right HERE, right NOW, FOREVER? IT'S all about YOU.
These beautiful children aren't about me? DARN!
That time in Indiana and Michigan wasn't about me? I was a pastor's wife, you know. Come to think of it, we went through some pretty awful stuff because of Your ministry, there's got to be something in there for me!
No?
And now? Now that we live in Jersey. . .we're here to heal, right?"
I AM.
It's all about You (this beautiful life You've blessed me with)
And all this is for you (Olivia, Garrett, Esther, Gideon, and Nora)
For Your glory and Your fame (To God be the glory)
It's not about me (not one single moment)
As if you should do things my way (You are the author and perfecter of my faith)
You alone are God (I lay my pride down)
And I surrender to your ways (To God be the glory)
3 comments:
Beautiful!!!!!
Absolutely beautiful!!!! Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts! I miss you and your insight!
hey Jess, I/we think of you and yours often. i will say again what a fun and fabulous work of God, as He designs our life and families, then weaves the tapestry stitch by stitch all for HIS own recognition and applause. WOW! I can appreciate your reflections of the song. Sounds like God is doing an amazing work of healing and journeying back to wholeness. We too are grateful for His ongoing healing. Press on! We love and appreciate you and yours bb:)
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