The Legacy

This past Monday my Grandmom went home. Heaven. Her suffering on this earth is now over and she's in glory with her Savior. As we celebrated her life over the last couple of days I learned a couple of things about her that I wish I would have known when she was alive.

Fact #1: She never wanted to be a farmers wife. She was a "city girl" who fell in love with a farmer. One of their wedding gifts was 125 chickens, no wonder she wasn't smiling in any of her wedding pictures! She candled eggs (google it, I had no idea what it was either), made all of her children's clothes, kept the books for their business, and raised seven wonderful children.

Fact #2: She was always in heels. I didn't see a picture of her when she wasn't fully "ready" for her day. There was even a picture of her when we all surprised her on Christmas morning, and out she came, skirt, heels, hair done. I learned later from one of my aunts, that she did this for my grandfather. He delivered milk, and always thought that if the woman met him at the door in their "house coat," they were lazy. Grandmom submitted to his expectation of a wife and mother and honored his wishes. What a great example to follow.

Fact #3: My grandparents loved each other, DEEPLY. Grandmom really hadn't been the same since Grandpop died almost 10 years ago. After 58 years of marriage, their love was stronger than ever. One Christmas Grandpop forgot to get Grandmom a Christmas card (we don't even get Christmas cards for each other), so he wrote her a note to apologize. At the age of 73 he says, "To the best wife a man could ever have" and "this has been the best year of our lives so far, and know that the next will be even better." He cherished her, adored her, LOVED her. I think that speaks volumes about, not only their marriage, but about the woman she was.

It was a bittersweet day. Tears, laughs, time with family. The legacy my grandparents left is long and deep. 7 children, 20 grandchildren, 30 great-grandchildren, and 5 more on the way. I am proud to be an Entwistle. I am proud of my family and the beauty that each of them brings to my life. I love the diversity, the quirks, the similarities. Most of all I love that in each of us, we are carrying the legacy on.

Garrett, Uncle Jeff (second son), and Rob (one of my 16 cousins).

Aunt Cathy bouncing Gideon.

Avery, Ange, Gideon and Nate.

My cousin Jenn's oldest daughter, Kayleigh, turned 13. Of course we had to embarrass her by singing to her. From left to right, Aunt Joyce, Aunt Sharon, Kayleigh, Marsh, and Jenn.

Shaylan, Olivia and Esther playing together.

Nate and Garrett

My dad John, the youngest sibling, with the oldest sibling, Aunt Ginny.

Olivia and Katie playing together.

From bottom left to right: Joe, Aunt Sharon, Aunt Ginny, Aunt Peggy, Aunt Joyce (all 4 daughters), Aunt Wendy and Uncle Jim (the oldest son).

Aunt Judy and Ange

Aunt Wendy, Uncle Jim, Uncle Roy (my grandfather's brother) and Andrew.

My dad, Rob, Marsh and Aunt Sharon.

Ange, Avery and Bekah (another cousin).

Nate, Garrett and Esther get ready for a game.

It was a long day so Garrett sunggled up with Grammy at the end of the night. If you know Garrett, you know you've never seen him that still in the midst of all those people. He must have been really tired!

Stop #1 - Leeds house

We are finally settling in. Finally, that makes this move seem like it is over, but it's not. If I start to think about what the next month looks like, I start to get a little uneasy. If I start to think about the fact that Josh doesn't have a job yet, I start to get a little worried. If I think, "What were we thinking, leaving, moving, being unemployed," a slight panic attack rises up in me. I am choosing to think about the positive. To embrace the love being wrapped around us by everyone. To rest in the promise that God knows what we need and will provide those needs. To count my blessings, which outnumber the stars!

We are settling in at our first stop with the Leeds family. Doug was my youth pastor and his wife, Karen a great friend. Doug married Josh and I almost 8 years ago, and their oldest daughter Taylor, was the flower girl in our wedding. This time starts a new chapter in our journey together. They have 5 children of their own, so as you can imagine, the party hasn't stopped!

Garrett and Jordan (7). These two have really bonded. Jordan tends to be the most "tom-boyish" of all the girls. We've found these two wrestling pretty hard.

Watching High School Musical 3.

The rest of the girls watching HM3. From left to right: Emily (9), Taylor (10), Laura (4), Esther and Olivia.

The Leeds 5th, and final child Ian, is at the end of the bed watching Garrett climb. So if you're keeping track, that's 9 kids ages 10 to 1!

I got lost

I totally got lost.

Big time.

I feel really foolish...embarrassed...and forever changed after my latest wondering.

Wondering, in the dark. It was really dark, no light, no signs of life. Lots of scary noises and missteps that caused me many bumps and bruises.

I kept telling myself, "Your going the right way...don't question it...you'll see light again...it's just around the corner...keep going."

So I pushed through, asked for help from the empty sky. Screamed out for help, answered with silence.

Then I stopped.

Sat down.

Closed my eyes.

Remembered where I came from...and heard a voice.

"You got lost, but I always knew where you were. I saw you walking down the road; guilty, worrying, CONTROLLING, doubting, justifying, HaTiNg, gossiping, holding grudges, being engulfed in your own PRIDE. Oh, how I loved you even in that place. I always want you to be safe with me and I waited until you were ready to hear me."

silence.

quiet.

confession.

peace.

freedom.

Yes, it's pictureless

I've been a little bit of a wreck lately.

I've been unable to put my thoughts into words, this is weird for me.

This "limbo stage" we are in, may do me in.

Early last week I bottled it in, tried to ignore the empty feeling, the lack of confidence and peace. I finally shared with Josh how I was feeling, talked it out (or so I thought), and was feeling better. Then of Friday I had a good cry about it all. About not "feeling" God's direction. "Feeling" forgotten by God. "Feeling" lost. Many of my friends and family contacted me this day about how we were doing. It's what I needed and once again, God let me know that He gives us everything we NEED when we NEED it. That He is with me, even when I feel like I'm in the dark, miles from his safety. He is faithful.

I don't think I'm totally out of this funk.

But I'm holding on to the promises.

"My flesh and me heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge,

I will tell of all your deeds."

Psalm 73:26&28

"Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40: 28-31

Puddin' Pie and Quote

What do you think a 1 year old does with pudding? Eat it? Slurp it? Nope! They wear it. Gideon still only uses eating utensils 40% of the time, so the other 60% he uses his hands. When he can grab the food, it's not a problem, however, pudding is not grabable (is that a real word?). Because pudding poses this problem Gideon decided to paint with it, fling it across the room with the spoon, and give himself war paint.

What does a 4 (almost 5 year old) do with pudding? Eat it with a spoon? Drink it? Nope. He tries to lick it out of the cup, with very little success. I was trying to get him to use the spoon, but he liked making a mess. WHATEVER!

Quote of the day (it has nothing to do with pudding, but I don't want to forget it):

Me, jokingly: "Garrett, I'm going to bite your thumb off if you don't stop sucking it!"
Garrett, laughing: "But mom, this is my favorite thumb to suck on!"

Sledding - a tough sport

I don't remember this part of sledding. The bumps and bruises. Josh and our friend Chad took the kids sledding today after church. The kids had been begging Josh for a while and today was the day to deliver. I didn't expect Garrett to come home battered and bruised. He walked in from playing and after I saw his REALLY red face, I noticed the bruise and cut on his forehead. He's giving me a glimpse of the future too, he hasn't stopped eating since he came in. So far he's had a cheese sandwich, fruit snacks, Bugles, two bowls and cereal and I think he's going to finish off an apple too. I'm guessing that when he's a teenager, he'll eat twice as much as that on a normal day. He's totally worth it!