We had a ton of fun the last week with our Kentucky cousins who came to Jersey to visit. Although the weather didn't corporate the whole time, we made the best of our time together! Lots of Wii, movies, and some time out of the house filled our days. It's great to see them build relationships with each other and make memories! We love our Kentucky cousins!!
Nora at the park. She's killing me these days. Teething and not sleeping make for one tired mommy.
I've got tons to say. Tons. I just don't have a cohesive way to put it all together. The next couple of blogs show what we've been up to. Maybe I'll be inspired and have more to write later. . .until then, enjoy.
Garrett turned 6 last Wednesday and we had lots of fun celebrating. We spent the morning doing school (you don't get the day off just b/c you're homeschooled and it's your birthday), the afternoon at a park, and the evening with my mom and dad for presents and cake. I was making cupcakes for our playgroup the next day, so I took Garrett to the supermarket to let him pick out his own cake. And, like a true St. Patty's Day baby, he went for the holiday cake, over the birthday cakes. I love my boy!
He didn't even know it was a leprechaun - he just kept calling it his "smiley face cake". Whatever makes you happy, buddy!
Getting a picture of Garrett is near to impossible these days. He's ALWAYS on the move! Here's a collage of our attempt at getting a picture of him for his birthday blog.
I think it shows exactly what he is like at this age!
Almost 9 years ago, I stood on a stage with my future husband and sang along with my sister as she sang this song.
It's all about You, Jesus And all this is for You For Your glory and your fame It's not about me As if You should do things my way You alone are God And I surrender to your ways
Jesus, lover of my soul All consuming fire is in Your gaze Jesus, I want you to know I will follow you all my days For no one else in history is like you And history itself belongs to you Alpha and Omega, You have loved me And I will share eternity with You
At the time, I was singing to God, in the moment. That our marriage, the ceremony, was about Him. To an extent, I guess I was thinking about our future - but mostly I was in the moment.
I was sincere in my worship that day, but looking back, I had no idea what our future would look like. And if I had known, been given even a glimpse of our path, I'm not sure I would have sang with such conviction and certainty.
Two weeks ago in church, we sang that same song. And as I thought back to that stormy night 9 years ago, I smiled at my innocence. That night, it was just the two of us. The words of that song took on a whole new meaning Sunday morning, as we stood with our 5 children singing.
It was like an "Ah-ha" moment.
"Ohhhh. God, this is what you meant? All THIS, THEM, ME, US? Back THEN, right HERE, right NOW, FOREVER? IT'S all about YOU.
These beautiful children aren't about me? DARN!
That time in Indiana and Michigan wasn't about me? I was a pastor's wife, you know. Come to think of it, we went through some pretty awful stuff because of Your ministry, there's got to be something in there for me!
No?
And now? Now that we live in Jersey. . .we're here to heal, right?"
I AM.
It's all about You (this beautiful life You've blessed me with)
And all this is for you (Olivia, Garrett, Esther, Gideon, and Nora)
For Your glory and Your fame (To God be the glory)
It's not about me (not one single moment)
As if you should do things my way (You are the author and perfecter of my faith)
You alone are God (I lay my pride down)
And I surrender to your ways (To God be the glory)
I bet you thought this was going to be a disclosure about our deepest, darkest secrets, based on the title. Well, you were wrong. It's just some beautiful black and whites of our five gorgeous children, who ARE our life.
Garrett doing some pre-bedtime reading to mom. Notice how serious he is.
Nora giving daddy smiles.
Gid being a stinker.
"Strike a pose!"
"CHEESE!"
Yes, I noticed the food on both girls faces - but do I care? Nope. (it wasn't too long ago that I would have cared)! Such is life with lots of small children - wiping faces is not always a priority.
I hate Chuck E. Cheese. Don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of partying there, as both the host and the attendee. And no matter how you slice it, it's stimulus overkill. The kids are treated to their every whim, games galore, tickets spit out at them, in order to treat them to a prize (which are displayed, with the number of tickets needed, so that the kids want more and more). Soda and pizza, cake and candy. It's every child's dream. And every parent's nightmare. After a three hour stint there on Monday, this mom was done. The only redeeming thing to come out of that place are the sketch photo's that cost only one token. I am always pleasantly surprised at the quality and clarity these pictures come out with. Not to mention that the date is printed on them, so I'll never have to ask, "when was this taken?" I wish I knew where to find all our pictures like this, so I could do a comparison - these will have to do for now.
I know a boy who is tough, eager, impulsive, sweet, stubborn, full of energy and crashes hard. This boy can push everyone of my buttons before 8 am and every hour there after. This boy can, after pushing one of those buttons, completely melt my heart with his big brown eyes and sweet gestures. This boy remembers what it's like to sit all alone at the dinner table long after everyone else is finished, and now chooses to keep his younger sister company while she finishes her dinner. This boy surprises me daily as he learns to read and compute, both of which he is amazing at and loves to do. This boy loves to clean and organize (on his time of course). He can often be found, making all the beds, organizing toys and putting away clothes, all in secret, just to surprise his mom.
This boy will. . .
try to sled down a snow pile and think it's fun, even when it failed.
This boy will. . .
succeed at EVERYTHING he puts his mind to, because he's got "it". Whatever "it" is.
This boy will. . .
never be as special to ANY woman as he is to his mom.
P.S. - This was originally published on our family blog, Crisp Happenings.
Here's what a 2 year old captures with a camera. . .
Here's what a 4 year old captures with a camera. . .
Here's what a 7 year old captures with a camera. . .
And that's what you get when the digital world rules. Without it, my children would not have the luxury of taking pictures. Thank you digital cameras for giving me these moments.
Oh, and a small confession: The picture of Gideon was taken by me (not Es) - but it was just too cute to leave out.
P.S. - The post was originally published on our family blog, Crisp Happenings.
One year ago, on February 18th we packed our lives into a truck. We made a last minute decision to forgo sleeping on the floor in the empty parsonage for one last night and instead, started our cross country trip to our new life in New Jersey. We had dinner at our friends house at 6pm and by 7, were saying some tough goodbyes to dear Michigan friends.
Packed to the limit, we started our journey. Josh and Indy in the rental truck. Me and the four kids (baby in utero) in the van. We weren't sure when or where we would stop for the night, but wanted to get as far as we could. At around 1 am on the morning of February 19th we pulled off in western PA. Desperate for a bed and some much needed sleep, I went to the front desk to see what the damage would be for a last minute room for the night. I guess it was the weary look in my eyes that caused the man behind the counter to have compassion and only charge us $60.00 dollars for a 100.00 dollar room.
Sleep.
The morning greeted us with some snow flurries, nothing we were worried about. The kids were excited to eat breakfast at the hotel's continental spread (okay, so were the parents!). We filled up on waffles, bagels, cereal and OJ. One less meal to buy on the road. The whole hotel experience was refreshing. Looking back, I see our needs being met in such huge ways. Ways I didn't see at the time.
After following the slowly moving truck for a couple of hours, I said goodbye to my husband and picked up the pace. I beat him by a little more than an hour. I can't tell you what I was feeling when I pulled into my parents driveway. One reason may be that I knew it wasn't our last stop. I knew we had so much more to do.
Wait for Josh. Let him stretch out. Unload the truck and repack the truck with our necessities for our next stop. Drive to our temporary home. Feel out our new home and the amazing people who inhabited there. Unpack the truck. Set up our sleeping space. Feed our family. You get the point.
I forgot one thing that I had to do. And it was major.
Check my pride at the door.
I am overwhelmed by the generosity of so many people who have cared for us in the past year. Tangibly loving us. Selflessly giving to us - not asking anything in return. It's way more than I deserve and can EVER repay.
Seriously, I am so blessed. Josh and I were talking the other night, about our plans. You know, the ones we had almost 9 years ago when we got married. Our plans of having 3 children, about him being a pastor, about our kids starting school, AT a school. Ahhh, how life changes. At the time, Josh would have been happy to stop at 2 kids and we thought about what life would look like if we only had Olivia and Garrett. Both in school all day, the quiet in the house, me probably working outside the home. And you know what? It didn't sound better than the reality we live in. Five kids, at home all day, with me, the stay at home mom. The noise that is deafeningly joyous and at times, excruciatingly painful. I'm sure, if we didn't know any different we would be happy with our 2 kids, but thankfully, we do know differently.
I am blessed beyond comprehension. Overjoyed to live in my chaos lined in peace.
Nora is almost 5 moths old, rolling from belly to back and almost has back to belly. She lights up when any of her siblings talks to her - and definitely isn't the 'forgotten fifth child'.
Nora and her biggest brother, Garrett.
I could kiss everyone of their faces - couldn't you?? (And notice the shirts that Gideon and Esther have on. . .they LOVE their Colts jerseys).
Our circle of love.
Blessed, blessed, blessed!!!!
P.S. - If you are reading this on Facebook, it was originally published on our family blog, Crisp Happenings.
Never before have I participated in Lent. Never before has there been something so a part of my life, that I felt compelled to give it up. Caffeine wouldn't do, I gave that up for pregnancies and nursing, for a time. TV - done that too - really not that tough. I know people who give up meat, soda, a bad attitude (although I don't think that one really can count, b/c that's awfully hard to control).
So I've got my "sacrifice". I use quotations because in the big picture what I'm giving up for the next 40 days is nothing compared to what Jesus gave up for me. And isn't that what this is all about? A preparation for the Holy Week, culminating with Easter. So I will deny myself, based on my human desires and temptations and prayerfully walk through the next 40 days, expectant of a fresh perspective on my God and my life.
I don't really know the rules to Lent, if you're suppose to talk about what it is you're giving up, but I'm going to anyway. Mostly because, if you know me at all, you'll know how much this is going to test me, and would love the prayers of my friends.
I hope to blog more in this time and hopefully, will be able to share what it is God is teaching me while I fast. . .from Facebook.
There we were. Ready. Donning our new Colts jerseys (and anonymous gift to our family). The food was prepared. The kids were tucked away in a far off room (well, upstairs). Let the game begin. . .and end. . .sadly. We are so sad not to be celebrating a Colts win today, but as I look at the world at large, and even at the lives of those all around me, I am pleasantly reminded that, IT'S JUST A GAME. That's all.
So, Rest in Peace Colts season. Thanks for the ride. And next year, let's do it all over again (except win the BIG one, OK?!?!).
We were so blessed by our jerseys that surprised us on our doorstep a couple of weeks ago. Each member of the family got their own. Here's the rundown of who got which player.
It seems to me, that God is doing a major overhaul of my heart, mind, and soul. In the past year, God has taken every opportunity that life handed me to teach me something about Himself and His glory. And, I'd like to say, for the record, that it's painful, heart-wrenching, and exciting. But this shouldn't be a surprise to any of you, because I am a broken record when it comes to our life right now.
Today's events, have once again got me resting in His promises. And more than any other instance, surprised me and tested me. Like a slap in the face, a stub of the toe, a kick in the gut, here's what happened.
As the kids and I left my sister's house, I cranked up the radio (my kids love KLOVE), ready to rock all the way home. But, as we stopped at the traffic light headed out of the development, Garrett asked, "Mom? I want to have an a-p-art. . .thing." Gasp. . .cough. . .pray. I knew what was coming. "Um, what do you mean?" He continues, "Like what Aunt Ange had before her house, I want to live in one of those." Oh Lord, help me keep it together. "An apartment?
Why?" "I want to live by ourselves again. We need our own house." Okay God, I know where you want me to go with this, thank you.
You see, for a while now, Josh and I have really tried to use the words 'need' and 'want' correctly. So, as soon as he said, "we NEED our own house" I knew what lesson God was wanting me teach our children and at the same time, using this opportunity to reaffirm His promises to us.
I walked through things that we NEED. Food, (maybe not even three meals a day), heat when it's cold, shelter from the wind, rain, and snow, and most of all, love. Which, I was able to let them know we had LOTS of. But even with the 7 of us - we have all we need! We are blessed abundantly with the love of our family and friends. As we talked through this, we were able to come up with so many things to be thankful for and at the same time, was able to teach them that God wants us to go to Him when we have requests. I shared that mommy and daddy would love to be able to give them a house to live in, but aren't able to at this time. So, if they wanted, they could ask God to give us a house. They seemed satisfied with that and asked me to turn up the radio. After I did, I noticed that it was unusually quiet the rest of the ride home.
I was excited to tell Josh about the interaction, only to share the truths that God taught our children this day. I knew, just as I initially felt like a failure and unsatisfactory when this subject came up, he would feel much, much more. Through tears I shared the story and watched my husband's face fall in shame. Leaning over, placing his arms on the counter, his head fell between his hands, his heart filled with sadness. I knew it would take him longer to see God's promises. I turned to finish dinner and started praying.
He remained distant the rest of the night. Prayer time at bedtime was hope filled and humble, ending with daddy saying a prayer for our family. As I write this blog, he is on the couch listening to a song on his phone, really loud. So loud, that I turn to ask him what he's listening to and to ask him to turn it down because I can't even hear myself think. Before I get to the 'turn it down part' he says with a smile (the first smile I've seen all night), "This song was just what I needed to hear tonight. Did you hear it?" I tell him no, because I was blogging and trying to concentrate, but couldn't because of how loud the music was. He starts the song over for me. Here are the lyrics by Matt Maher:
"It don't have a job
Don't pay your bills
Won't buy you a home
In Beverly Hills
Won't fix your life
And find easy steps
Ain't the low or the limp
Or the government
But as soon you needed...
Love, will, hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm
And I'll, be, my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know
That we're not alone
It's waiting for you
Knockin' at your door
Every moment of truth
When your heart hits the floor
When you're on your knees then...
Love, will, hold us together
Make us a shelter to weather the storm
And I'll, be, my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know That we're not alone
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
It's gonna be alright, 's gonna be alright."
Thank you God, for that breath of fresh air and for
I read this on MckMama's blog (actually an abridged version, credited to Mother Theresa) and then one of her followers found the original and shared it. Either way, I love it.
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
I think these pictures speak for themselves. . .and give you the answer to the question.
Seriously, the boys didn't just play on their phones the whole time, but could often be found "playing" together like this. We did play games, wrestle with the kids, play guitars and sing, and have great conversation while we were together too. It was a great time of rest and play. More pictures to come!
Olivia, you are the best big sister, daughter, student, and babysitter. You excel at most everything you try and make me so proud when you persist in a task. You are learning to express yourself beautifully, and if I may say, a little too quickly. Babies love you. Your peers adore you. Your siblings look to you to lead. Mom and dad are so proud of the beautiful young lady you are becoming.
Daddy and I want you to know that we will always be there to encourage you, guide you and cheer you on. We want you to come to us when you need anything and trust us as your best friends. We aren't perfect and will make mistakes, but we will always be here for you. We won't always be able to protect you from the hurts in life, (even though we wish we could) but we will hurt with you and love you through it.
HELLO World! My name is Eleanor Lynne, my family calls me Nora. Well, except my biggest brother Garrett, he likes to call me Eleanor, but mom and dad don't mind, they think it's kind of cute. I am in the running to win the Best Baby Ever contest, held by my mom. Let me tell you why you should vote for me. . .
1. I've been sleeping through the night since I was 8 weeks old. Once in a while, I like a little snack in the middle of the night, but overall I love my sleep.
2. As long as I don't have to burp, I will lay down awake in my bed and go to sleep on my own. I know, I know, most babies eat to go to sleep or have to be rocked, but not me, I can get myself to sleep just fine. And being the youngest of 5 kids, mommy really likes this about me.
3. I am really cute. My specialty is a little squeal. When I try to talk, laugh and while I'm smiling, you can often hear my scare myself with my squeal, which makes it all the more cute.
I could go on and on about how great I am - but the rules state that I can only tell you three great things about myself. So there you go, folks. Vote for me!!
Oh, him. . .that's my big brother Gideon, he's two now, and can't be considered for this prize. But he sure is cute, don't ya' think?
And that's what you get when the digital world rules. Without it, my children would not have the luxury of taking pictures. Thank you digital cameras for giving me these moments.
Seriously, the boys didn't just play on their phones the whole time, but could often be found "playing" together like this. We did play games, wrestle with the kids, play guitars and sing, and have great conversation while we were together too. It was a great time of rest and play. More pictures to come!
